Preparing for NZ Open – spee kin key wee

As I have been playing croquet in different parts of Australia I have found it is a good idea to acclimatise myself as best I can in order to perform at my peak and not get any strange surprizes from the locals. For example, prior to playing in Tasmania my diet included James Boag beer and King Island Cheese, to which I partly attribute the success of making the Australian Mens final.

With this in mind, I have commenced trying to master the local New Zealand lingo to improve my results in the centenary of the NZ Open.

After completing a rendition of jungle bells I travelled to Milburn to play in the Victorian open and since then have been practicing sex times a week. Upon returning to Wagga Wagga my mcKennock did a tin thousand km service on  my car as I did my washing and used pigs to hang my clothes.
My diet includes  munnwe stroney, and fitta cheney, along with warm chuck and ever coadeau  salad.
As there is no brudge to New Zulland I will have to go via earplane – a sivven four sivven on the way there, and a sivven sucks sivven when I return.

There are not any beers in New Zealand, but some people have bun button by small insects so I will peck some pissed aside; hopefully this will not cause any problems at beggage chucken as the earplane leaves at iggs ektly sex pissed tin.

Junie Clark, a whomin with fear hear, has told me the lawns will be first and duffy cult. I amejen that this will be more of a problem for my inner me than myself. At least I have a good beard to sleep on at night after enjoying a sex pack with the other pliers.

I have been told some pliers from the nirth island have nasty hobbits like guess, so I will keep clare of them so I have frush ear.

Kip a close eye out for Tum and Jum in the dub ells, as wear hoping to stick it right up our inner mes.

No wurrys - I pissed

No wurrys
I pissed with flying collars

 

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